theinfamous

This is some of the conversations that we and a couple of other guys had in my class, some are sweet, some are not, you tell me. "Dude, I seriously wanna go take a vacation this summer." "don't we all, man." "Yeah, but, I mean, GO somewhere." "HEY! I woulda never guessed!" "Shut up, anyway, but i wanna go somewhere random that nobody's been to before, like.......Pennsylvania." "Pennsylvania? What the hell? Why there?" "Cause they got cool stuff in Pennsylvania." "What the hell do they have in Pennsylvania? "some fuckin KICK ASS PIZZA!" "........(slaps) shut up dude." Anyway, i know that one was stupid, you had to be here to underst

Man, i really need a scanner to start drawing. A new avatar couldn't hurt either, someone give me some ideas. Well, anyway, let's get started, shall we? "THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (AT MY HOUSE)" Twas' the night before Christmas, and all through the house, everybody felt shitty, even the mouse. Dad at the whorehouse and my mom smokin grass, and i'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass. When out on the lawn, I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my piece to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn, I saw a big dick, and i knew in a moment, "It must be Saint Nick!" He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I

NEVER FORGET THESE LAWS, FOR THEY WILL HELP YOU MORE THAN A.......THEY HELP, TRUST ME! 1. The Law of Common Sense: Never accept a drink from a urologist. 2. The Law of Reality: Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing  to lose. 3. The Law of Self Sacrifice: When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves  last. 4. The Law of Volunteering: If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let  him lead. 5. The Law of Avoiding Oversell: When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always  leave room for the mouse. 6. The Law of Motivation: Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster. 7. Boob\'s Law: You always find som

One day, a man was in New york, coming back from a major party at his friends house, with lipstick all over his collar, a half drunken bottle of gin, and just about ready to pass out. He has to take the subway home in order to avoid a DUI, so he goes to the subway, and takes it to his nearest station. During the ride, he sits next to a priest, and starts reading a newspaper he bought. After awhile, he said, \"Father, what causes arthiritis?\". To this, he answered, \"Well, my son, it is caused by excessive amounts of partying, being with cheap drunk women, and too much alcohol\". He then said, \"We\'ll i\'ll be damned...\". Later, the priest

\"Fade\" Try to breathe..... Memories overtaking me... I try to face them but, the thought, is too much to concieve... I only know that I can change, everything else, just stays the same, So now, I step out of the darkness that my life became cause... Chorus :below: I just needed someone to talk to you were just too busy with yourself You were never there for me to express how I felt I just stuffed it down.... Now i\'m older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade... But it seems the surface I am scratching is the bed that I have made.... So where were you? When all this I was goin\' through? You never took th

Here are some of the more serious conversations iv\'e had with some  of my ex girls. Some of these amaze me. (no names will be mentioned, WHATSOEVER) Me: Hey, you look a bit sad, what\'s up? Her: Nothing, it just seems that we\'re kinda not seeing as much of each other as i\'d like to, so you wanna go do something and we can talk? Me: What do you mean not seeing me as much as you\'d like to? as in, you want me to visit more, or you need to see more of me in physical form? hahaha Her: :giggle: Be nice, I mean I want you to visit more, duh. Me: oh, i see, but anyway, you want me to visit more often? Sure, ill do that, just call me when you

One day, there were 3 old :fart:s sitting around and talking about the best thing that could happen to them. The 80-year old says, \"The best thing that could happen would be if I could just have a good :pee:. Every time I go, it dribbles and hurts, and i have to go again and again.\" Then, the 85-year old says, \"That\'s not my problem, all I need is a really great bowel movement (:poo:), I take every kind of laxative I get my hands on, and it\'s still a problem for me.\" Then finally, the 90-year old points at both of them and laughs. They ask \"what\'s so funny?\" and he says, \"Neither of those are my problem, every morning at 6 a.m. shar

Things i have done in an elevator: 1. looked inside my backpack, and said, \"got enough air in there?\" 2. Purposely dropped a cooler labled \"Human Head\" 3. Asked a midget, \"hows the air down there?\" 4. Flatulated and then blamed it on the only woman in the elevator Things i have said during a pizza order: 1. Asked to rent a pizza. 2. Changed my accent every 3 seconds. 3. Asked to see a menu. 4. Said \"ksssssssshhhht\", and asked if they felt it. 5. Said \"there\'s a bomb under your seat.\" when they asked me to repeat that, i said, \"sauce smothered with meat.\" 6. Ordered with a Speak n\' Spell. 7. Asked for a steamed pizza.